5 Vegetables We Wish Were Ice Cream

Here at Enlightened there are many vegetables that have won our hearts—tomatoes, potatoes, and even some that don’t end in “-atoes.” That being said, we’ve identified some slackers in the vegetable kingdom who can’t compare to a creamy pint of Sea Salt Caramel. Veggies below, you’re on notice:

1. Cauliflower: Sorry, cauliflower—you lost us when you decided you were Leo in Catch Me If You Can, masquerading as rice (?), mac and cheese (?!), and even pizza (#@$%!). One thing to say to this cruciferous imposter: don’t quit your day job.

2. Celery: Look up “stringy” in the dictionary and you’re bound to find celery, also known as “everyone’s third-favorite thing about ants on a log.” What’s that? You need a veggie cut into sticks to go with buffalo wings? I’ve got good news—carrots exist, and they’re not made out of dental floss.

3. Zucchini: “Zucchini” is an Italian word meaning “cucumber, only worse.” Boom, roasted (at 400° F, with olive oil and a little kosher salt).

4. Rutabaga: Did you know rutabagas were once used in the British Isles for making jack-’o-lanterns, instead of pumpkins? We recommend carrying on this time-honored tradition and putting a candle inside your rutabaga, because candles are much more flavorful.

5. Endive: If endive were a person it would wear a pastel sweater around its neck and it would constantly be telling you, “It’s pronounced on-DEEV.” A salad green’s a salad green, endive—you’re not fooling anyone.

So you’ve decided it’s more of an ice cream night than a mashed turnip night… Congratulations! Now comes the hard part: Deciding which of Enlightened’s 27 flavors to try next! Explore all of our pint varieties on our website.

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